By: Carolyn Searls Licensed Funeral Director and Embalmer
An exploration of the emotion behind the prep room door.
Haiku and Free-verse poetry, alongside scientific definitions.
Inspired by my experiences in the world of Funeral Service
This Poetry is dedicated to anyone who has ever been told they can’t be who they want to be.
Source for definitions: Embalming History, Theory, and Practice Fifth Edition- Robert G. Mayer
Edited by Sam Bodiford
A is for Aspiration. -The withdraw of gas, fluids, and semi solids from body cavities and hollow
viscera by means of suction with an aspirator and trocar.
Aspirating deep
I ask for you to open
Show me all you hide
B is for Blister. -Thin vesicles on the skin containing liquid matter.
Roses on the casket, much like words, can be beautiful and useless
Blistering expectations on a heart once soft
Now hardened by grief
Ripping petals off the roses, wishing for their voice
The thorns are wet with tears
C is for Carcinogen. -Cancer causing chemicals or material.
Carcinogens bottled
I see all the warning signs
Inhale chemicals
D is for Decomposition- The breakdown of organic matter into simpler inorganic forms, and the associated release of energy.
Decomposing mind
I plead for her memories
Please remember me
E is for Embalming- Process of chemically treating the dead human body to reduce the presence and growth of microorganisms, to temporarily inhibit organic decomposition, and to restore.
Stiff like embalmed flesh I became your puppet
Using my veins as your strings
Push me off the shelf
I want to break and become someone new
F is for Florid- Flushed with red when describing a complexion.
Florid faces fill spaces
They are apples on a tree
Watch each other fall
G is for Glycerin- Syrupy colorless liquid obtained from fats or oils as a by-product of the manufacturing of soaps and fatty acids; used as a vehicle for some cosmetics.
Behind shut lids are eyes shiny with glycerin
Cotton filled crevasses, never to be opened
Keeping all their secrets
Holding room- An area of a funeral home used for preparation of deceased human bodies by other means other than embalming.
My words are locked away in your holding room
I forgot them when I left
I can’t find the nerve to go back for them
I know they’ve already been in his mouth
I is for incision- A clean cut made with a sharp instrument;In embalming, a cut made with a scalpel to raise arteries and veins.
Clean cut incisions
Leave a filthy cold wound
They kiss your dead skin
J is for Jaundice- Conditions characterized by excessive concentrations of bilirubin in the skin and tissues and disposition of excessive bile pigment in the skin, cornea, body fluids, and mucous membranes with a resulting yellow appearance.
Smokers fingers, yellow with jaundice, almost golden like the stars
Many rotations around the sun, yet orbiting the same places
Pulling into habits with increasing gravity
Worldly intentions being judged by thousands of galaxies
Reminding us of our small spaces
K is for keepsake-A container or piece of jewelry designed to hold a small amount of ashes.
Your laugh is my keepsake
I hear it in my sleep
Your jokes roll in till I’m no longer dreaming
That hallway will always echo with laughter
L is for Lesion- Any change in structure produced by the course of disease or injury.
The burnout leaves lesions on my brain waves
I hear the screams of mourning mothers
I see the faces of life’s victims
My frontal lobe collapses
The pleaser kicks in
My hand reaches out to help
But they slap my wrist
M is for Moribound- In a dying state. In the agonal period.
Moribound passion
Clinging to the life I know
Who will I be now
N is for Necrosis- Pathological death of tissue still a part of a living organism.
Necrosis of the mind,
Gangrene in the soul,
Formaldehyde pulsing through the veins,
More sweat to pay the toll
O is for Orifice- Entrance or outlet of any body cavity; an opening.
Face up in a gutter
I am looking straight into the orifice of fear
I’m right where I need to be
The deepest I can go
I whisper, “You are home”
P is for Purge- Postmortem evacuation of any substance from an external orifice of the body as a result of pressure.
If you keep cutting people off you’ll become an emotional amputee
Purge all the toxins, till you’re the only poison left
Q is for… Free verse
Ticking time bombs waiting for our best and worst days
Lives lead in an endless purgatory, until it’s our turn to defuse or detonate
R is for Repose- To lay to rest
Trauma drove the beauty to repose
Innocence and bliss both faded to yesterday
Memories dull her eyes
Curses fill her lips
A neat whiskey and a thoughtless glance
She is already buried
S is for Sepsis- Pathologic state resulting from the presence of microorganisms or their products in the blood or other tissues.
I made it happen
Now your presence is sepsis
I remove it all
T is for Trocar- Sharply pointed surgical instrument used in cavity embalming to aspirate the cavities and inject cavity fluid. The trocar may also be used for supplemental hypodermic embalming
Sharply come the words
That’s the only way they know
It hits like a trocar through the belly
Sharply they are slurred
I take the final blow
It hits like a trocar through the belly
Sharply staring as if I hadn’t heard
You put on such a show
It hits like a trocar through the belly
U is for Undercoat- Coloring applied to an area, which when dry, will be covered with wax or
another colorant.
Parasites seen through the undercoat
They’ve been here before me, they’ll still consume thereafter
Breeding in the hundreds, till we become worms ourselves
V is for viewing- In the context of funerals, the act of viewing the body of the deceased, typically in a mortuary or chapel of rest.
Viewing what is left
I try to picture what was
What was is now gone
W is for Wicking- Operative or mechanical aid where an absorbent material such as webbed cotton, is inserted into a body area where moisture is present,the absorbent material draws the moisture outside the body.
He’s the sweetest man with a bitter taste
Wicking up hoppy beer, loving angry people
He sings the sad songs with the ignorance of a child,
And comforts me like an old soul
X, Y, Z… Free verse
“Nothing lasts forever;”
a phrase that makes a hurt man smile,
as a peaceful man weeps
All searching for permanence,
besides what is damp and six feet deep